Secret smoker

I want to tell you about the secret smokers. This category of people similar to those who smoke with some frequency, but secret smokers deserve a separate Chapter, because this is a more difficult case. The effects of secret Smoking can prevent even personal interactions. For example, in my case, it almost led to divorce.

Since I tried to quit Smoking three weeks had passed. My wife got worried about my health because he heard me cough, and my breath gave a whistle. Then I told her that I don't feel any concern about your health. What she said how would I feel if I saw my loved one slowly killing themselves. This argument was irrefutable, so I decided to quit Smoking. But this attempt ended in failure after three weeks, just at the moment when I had a huge fight with my best friend. A few years later, I realize that my unhealthy mind itself sought this quarrel. I was very discouraged. But I don't think it was a coincidence, because neither before this quarrel or after it, we never quarreled with this person. It is clear that this work of little monsters that lived in me. But the deed was done, I felt bad and this was the reason to smoke again.

Then I knew the pain and frustration will bring this failure to my wife, so I decided just to her not to say anything. I began to smoke alone. But I still was smoke in the presence of acquaintances and friends. It so happened that all knew about it except my wife. I remember chtoby very pleased with myself and thought that I at least will reduce the level of nicotine in the blood. In the end, the wife just accused me that I'm Smoking again. Then I she did not admit it, but she listed all the times when we were fighting, and then I instantly flew out of the house. In other cases, I spent two hours to buy some trifle. And if earlier always called with him his wife, now came up with various excuses, if only she didn't go with me.

There comes a time when between smoker and non-smokers there is a huge abyss, and tobacco bothers to communicate with their friends and family at the same level. And sometimes this communication stops completely. But the fact remains that the secret Smoking gives the smoker a feeling that he is deprived of something. In addition, it hurts the self-esteem of a smoker, since now I have to lie to someone you love.

Maybe something similar is happening with you?

To me such a thing occurredseveral times. Some time showed on television detective series "Columbo". The meaning of all series were the same. Criminal, as a rule, people very wealthy, commits murder and how he thinks it's a crime no one will ever be able to reveal. His opinion is confirmed when a case is assigned to detective Colombo, outwardly quite simple and not generating impressions person. From Colombo there is a bad habit to close the door after the questioning, as if assuring the criminal that he is above suspicion, but before the killer's face will disappear the expression of satisfaction, Columbo reappears with the words: "Only one small misunderstanding, sir, which I am sure you can explain...". The suspect begins to falter, and from that moment we and he know that Colombo is gradually pressed against it.

At such a moment I become absolutely still, what crime was committed by a criminal and I stand in his place. I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I had committed a crime and was on the way. Such sensations opened up to me when I was a secret smoker. Remember the long hours during which I could not smoke, then sneaking into the garage for tightening by stealth, or ten minutes shivering in the cold, wondering why Smoking does not bring me the usual satisfaction. I remember the fear that I still get caught. Remember how he was afraid that the wife will find that place where I hid the cigarettes and lighter. I remember trying to sneak into the house undetected, and then once again felt the fear that the clothes left the smell, and will feel it. And with each day I became more and more convinced that one day I would get caught. The final humiliation and shame I felt when it finally happened, after which was followed by an immediate return to continuous Smoking. Oh, long live the Smoking and the joy that comes from cigarettes!

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